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So You Want To Be A Bagger?Each week my mailbox is inundated with slanderous emails from readers claiming that they could write a better article than one of our Baggers. It's always "Your site blows!" and "I could write a better article than this crap!" and "Can I please write for your site?" and "How come you never write me back? Am I suffocating you? Oh my God I've ruined everything, haven't I?" Let's get a grip here, people. It's time for our readers to walk the walk. We're announcing a new feature called "So You Want to Be A Bagger?". Starting next week, we'll post submissions from our readers that we feel might have what it takes. Then, we'll let our readers email us with their thoughts. If enough readers think you've got the skills, then you just may be our next Bagger. Rules: 1. All submissions must be original, or at least pass the "Can we find this article on the internet in under three seconds before we get lazy?" rule 2. You allow us full editorial control, without altering the piece from a context standpoint 3. You allow us to print your first name, or an alias of your choosing. Your alias cannot be "Hartley Sucks" or anything along those lines 4. If you have a hot sister, then you have to send us a picture. If you have a hot sister and you don't send a picture, we'll find out. Trust us. 5. Don't write anything about Rosie O'Donnell or Gwyneth Paltrow. Nobody cares about those whiny chicks, and we don't feel like defending boring crap on our site. Send all entries to webmaster@paperbagreview.com. We'll start things off next Monday. C. Alexander Parish Editor-in-Chief |
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