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Judas Priest Rocks |
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So there it was right in front of my eyes, as unbelievable of an email as I had ever read: "Judas Priest playing Richmond, VA on Wednesday July 24, 2002." Obviously this was some sort of typical Richmond hoax meant to welcome an unwitting crowd and then pull the rug right out from under their feet. Amazingly though, this was no lie, and after spending a mere $10, The Continental and myself had our tickets to the show. There are not many reasons for something this cool to happen in this town, but I do have a theory: while passing Richmond on the way to DC or VA Beach, the tour bus had some mechanical problems. After receiving the news that it would take a week for repairs, they decided to make the best of the situation and rake in a little cash.
Wednesday arrived and I looked outside to see dark clouds looming. "Don't fucking rain today Goddamnit" was what I was thinking, but would I really be surprised? Hell no! Everyone knows that this place loves to place a swift kick directly on my nuts whenever possible, and I was bracing myself for the blow. At 6pm the clouds finally parted as my prayers were answered. Apparently there is a God, and he must love Heavy Metal! We arrived to see a crowd that was what you might expect: Priest fans young and old, unattractive and even more unattractive, a mullet here and another mullet there. A fine blend of rednecks, bikers and their “old ladies”, and those people that are fans, but have at the very least made an attempt to become a functioning member of society. Then you had The Continental and Brandon Iron, obviously standing out at a show like this and drawing the curious gazes of many of those unlovely ladies. We could feel a bit of tension in the air as boyfriends, fathers, and brothers raised up their mullets (a normal defense mechanism) in an attempt to intimidate, but our friendly nod, flashing of the "metal sign", and raising of a “cold one” made it clear that our interests lie not in the women, but in the beer and heavy metal onslaught about to be unleashed. Situation diffused. The evening was filled with great music ("Living After Midnight", "Electric Eye", "The Sentinel", etc..), cold beer, and a crowd full of mullets and runaways, but there were two events during the concert that really stood out. Two events that were so in sync with the music that all was right with the universe: (1) Ex-girlfriend Rethinks Her Decision during “You Got Another Thing Coming” Brandon - "What in the hell are you doing at a Judas Priest concert?" Ex - "I didn’t want to come, but my new boyfriend likes them so here I am. That’s him over there." Brandon - "Holy Shit that guy sucks! What a fat fuck, I assume you’re on top most of the time." Ex - "Look, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. This past year apart has been good for me and I’ve really grown a lot." Brandon - "Yeah, you’re looking a little fat in the ass." (a half joking laugh) Ex - "Um, I’ve realized that I made a huge mistake and I want to get date you again. What do you think?" Brandon - "That’s nice. I'm happy for you, but you fucked it up a year ago and you don’t get a second chance with me. Now run along to the human sleeping bag you call a boyfriend and have a nice life. Oh yeah, and quit fucking calling me!" Ex - "WAHHHHHHHHHH!!" (she runs off crying) (2) The Continental Wants More Beer during “Breaking the Law” A stamp and a wristband are given to all adults who agreed to pay $4 per beer ticket and consume a maximum of 5 beers while attending the show. Pretty weak, but I applaud the attempt to keep things civilized by limiting those that cannot handle their alcohol. Obviously this 5 beer limit does not apply to The Continental as (1) 5 beers just begins to wet his palette and (2) Judas Priest was only 4 songs into their set when he realized it was time for more beer. The Porta-Johns provided the cover as The Continental easily removed the wristband and stamp and began making his way to the ID tent. He strolled by two cops while looking them both directly in the eye (no hassles there), but the look on the woman's face who IDed him gave the impression that she recognized him from earlier. Not to worry, a wink and a smile and he was good to go. Thanks slut, 5 more beers met their fate before the night was through. What am I talking about here? A Judas Priest concert. And what does that mean? Mullets of course! Here is the official Brandon Iron rating of the night's number one hairstyle: Concert Mulitude: 8, while there were not as many mullets as one would have anticipated the quality was exceptional. All in all it turned out to be a great time. The Continental and I got pretty loaded, Judas Priest fucking rocked the city, and I felt that Richmond had taken a step in the right direction towards making amends for all the disappointments it had handed to me over the years. Now Thursday, that was a whole different story. Brandon Iron |
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