|
|
Saved By My Friends |
||
|
I always had this extremely egotistical view that everyone could relate to me. I blame this entirely on television and all other forms of media. It has always seemed that pop culture has mimicked my life pattern; the best example of this being everyone's favorite prime time shows (or Saturday morning non-cartoons, whatever the case may be): When Brandon, Brenda et al hit the CALU campus for the first time, or when Cousin Will and Carlton moved off to the dorms also happened to be the year I went to college. I remember running to my next class (alright, so I never really went to class, but work with me on the imagery here...) expecting to bump into Blossom on the main quad. I always had TV to relate to, and since everyone can relate to TV, I thought it might be fun to see which part of my life will truly shape out my glory years. My high school years sucked, so that entire portion of my life is out of the question. College was good, but I often wonder if it was any better than the years immediately after. Since its hard to compare two entirely different epochs in my life conclusively, I'll use this television reference point and see who comes out the winner. Representing the high school and college years, the famed cast of Saved By The Bell, while standing tall for the formitive years of reality, the extremely recognizable cast of Friends. Its go time.Allow me to pit each cast member of one show against a corresponding counterpart from the other, winner take all. Ignore the giant underlying assumption that my life actually was reflected well in these shows, and lets let the battle begin: Extraneous Character: Gunther v. Mr. Belding Gunther served coffee, had a huge crush on a rather cute little waitress, and looked like a tool. Belding was always willing to add comic relief, lay down the law whenever a student got out of hand, and show a tender side when a student was in trouble at home. I identify somewhat with Gunther because I've had a crush on a waitress at Black Angus for a couple of years now, but you have to respect a principal who can get in touch with his, ahem, student body. Advantage: Saved By The Bell Dorky Fool: Chandler Bing v. Samuel 'Screech' Powers I never understood why the brilliant writers of Saved added Screech. Whenever the show had the plot centered around him, I would change the channel early...and don't get me started on the entire love interest he had with Violet Bickerstaff (played by the unattractive in all angles, Tori Spelling.) Yes, Chandler's weight fluctuates greater than my blood sugar during a Mexican World Cup Qualifier match, but he has had some shining moments on the show. Factor in that his prominent love interest, Monica, blows the knee-highs off of Tori Spelling, and I think we have our winner. Advantage: Friends Anal-Retentive Female: Monica Geller v. Jesse Spano I know it has nothing to do with either show, but Jesse (played by Elizabeth Berkley) later starred in a movie about a Vegas Stripper making it big. Game Over. Advantage: Saved By The Bell Too-Cool Male: Joey Tribiani v. AC Slater Joey has quickly become my favorite character on the show. Here's a guy who loves sandwiches, women, and stupid games. I have a Subway frequent buyer's card, adore the ladies, and once invented a game where the winner had to use a hockey stick to get a nerf ball lodged into the corner of the couch. Yeah, we see eye to eye. What makes this tough is that AC had a herculean build and dimples similar to mine. The live studio audience always hooted and hollered whenever he came out in a wrestling tank top or tight muscle shirt, and quite frankly, I get the same response at the beach whenever I rock the spandex bottoms. (True story, three times in one week last year, a different girl commented on how I looked like Mario Lopez. You've got to be kdding me...) Advantage: Push Zany Female: Phoebe Buffay v. Lisa Turtle Phoebe sucks. You know it, I know it. Lark Voorhies is HOT! How else would she star in the smash-hit video for LL Cool J and Boyz II Men's 'Hey Lover'? Advantage: Saved By The Bell Leading Male: Ross Geller v. Zack Morris When Ross was nailing Rachel, he was the most envied man on must-see TV. Watching his boyhood crush develop into something real made all of us feel warm and gooey inside. I wanted something in my life to shadow his passion for Rachel Green. Then he blew it...they were NOT on a break! What can we say about Zack that hasn't already been said: He was the founder of the revolutionary pop band, The Zack Attack, he achieved an impossible score of 1502 on his SATs, and he wore high top Nike sneakers with Jeans. Alright, so nobody's perfect. Advantage: Saved By The Bell Leading Hot Lady: Rachel Green v. Kelly Kapowski Who didn't grow up wanting to french kiss Kapowski? Has there ever been a female actress more accurately portray the part of teenage heartthrob better than Tiffani Amber Thiessen? She had it all, adorable looks, dumb personality, cheerleader spirit...yup, she was one for the ages. So its Kelly in a walk, right? Bear with me here...I'm giving the edge to Rachel Green, the eloquent and rich acting of Jennifer Aniston. Rachel humbly began as a waitress, then found her career goal and moved into the ranks of professional society. Nothing is sexier than finding a beautiful woman who knows what she wants and goes right after it...and since we're trying to relate this back to my life, I think I have to give a woman like that the edge (you know who you are...) Advantage: Friends So the final tally: Ties: 1 Saved By The Bell: 4 Friends: 6 Lets face it, the Leading Hot Lady category is always weighed five times more than any other. So there you have it, the extremely influential post-graduate years bear more impact than those of schooling. Be sure to send any disagreements to salazar@paperbagreview.com and I'll be sure to ignore them like most pieces of email. Cheers, Salazar |
|
The Fellas
Contact Us
Use Wisely