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From time to time, I will turn on the television and
see someone from one of my favorite shows in movie or
show that is plain awful. For that reason, I have
decided to check in on the career choices of the
former stars of these great shows to see how their
post-show work ranks up against what made them stars
in the first place. Does that make sense? Probably
not, so I will just get into it. Off we go.
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Jason Priestley (Brandon Walsh)
Previous Career Highlight: Rockin' the hockey mullet on the prime time show about nuns, "Sister
Kate"
What hasn't Brando been up to since leaving the show? Here's a brief rundown of his handywork:
1)Director 2) ABC Racing Announcer 3)Indy Driver 4) Indy driver who crashes and gets hurt
bad
I also heard back in the day he was supposed to have a new series as well...hopefully
its about a set of twins who move from Minnesota into the swanky world of Beverly
Hills...that would be great. Grade: A
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Luke Perry (Dylan McKay)
Previous Career Highlight: Laying the asphalt at Torrance High, aka "West Beverly High"
After dropping out of the spotlight for a short while, Luke Perry came back with a
vengeance starring as a prison inmate who most likely gets butt-raped in the HBO series
Oz, and he is now alongside the likes of Theo Huxtable (Malcolm Jamal Warner) in the
Showtime series Jeremiah. No offense, but we want the old drinkin' and druggin' Dylan
McKay...those were the fun years. Grade: B-
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Ian Ziering (Steve Sanders)
Previous Career Highlight: Some brilliant thespian work on "The Guiding Light"
From the man who was a driving force behind the "Donna Martin graduates!"
campaign, the career after the show has been rather grim: a divorce from his Playmate
wife, a guest spot on "Inside Schwartz" and now a full time gig as the voice of
Harry Stewart on "Spiderman: The Animated Series." Well, at least he is still
getting the royalty checks with the show being in syndication, and we don't have to
witness the further graying of his perm-mullet. Grade: C-
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Jennie Garth (Kelly Taylor)
Previous Career Highlight: Living in Sherman Oaks and hanging out at Salazar's favorite
mall...excuse me, "Galleria"
Like a fine wine, Ms. Garth only gets better with age. She is currently starring in the WB
sitcom "What I Like About You," and still looks dynamite, even after two kids.
So unless she has done any other Lifetime movies about eating disorders or date rape that
I don't know about, I have nothing more to say...except that she should never cut her
hair short again, like she had during the Colin coke episodes, and when she was working at
the free clinic when Brandon cheated on her. If you were wondering why Brandon cheated,
there it is. Grade: A-
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Tori Spelling (Donna "Fugly" Martin)
Previous Career Highlight: Getting to second base with Screech Powers as Violet
Bickerstaff on "Saved by the Bell"
I am not really sure what she has done since the series ended, but rumor had it she was
supposed to get a series on the WB or something. In the meantime, she is in some movie
called "Naked Movie"; now, I don't know what this is all about, but if the word
"naked" has anything to do with Tori, then all signs point towards me not going
anywhere near this flick. At least she has gotten remotely less unattractive in recent
years, although, that isn't saying much. Grade: C
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Brian Austin Green (David Silver)
Previous Career Highlight: His brilliant work on "Knots Landing," perfecting the dance moves that would
help him win the Spring Dance Dance-off, and penning the monster ballad "Keep it Together"
A lot has happened in the world of Brian Austin Green since the show ended its run. He
toughened up his image by changing his name to Brian A. Green, he joined the cast of some
Showtime series called Resurrection Blvd and he started nailing the ex-Mrs. Corey Feldman,
Vanessa Marcil. Now all he has to do is put out a follow up to his #1 selling rap album
"One Stop Carnival." Grade: B+
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Tiffani Amber Thiessen (Valerie Malone)
Previous Career Highlight: Tie: 1) All-American beauty Kelly Kapowski on SBTB 2) Her guest
appearance on "Charles in Charge"
What show that this woman touches doesn't turn to gold? She was every kids dream on Saved
by the Bell, she gave Saved by the Bell: The College Years a hot female character, she
brought new life into 90210 with her conniving ways, her guest spots on "Just Shoot
Me" were fantastic (I would imagine, I never actually saw them), and I think that
just having her in "Fastlane" could make a Bill Bellamy vehicle be a successful
show. Well maybe not, but what if the two guys on the show were Mark-Paul Gosselar and
Mario Lopez? Grade: A+
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Kathleen Robertson (Clare Arnold)
Previous Career Highlight: Being spited by both Coreys and playing second fiddle to Nicole
Eggert's hotness in the mega-hit cult classic "Blown Away"
Miss Robertson basically fell off the map after leaving the series back in 1997, although
I do remember seeing her in a movie about threesomes or something on HBO.
However, she came back with a fury in 2001, starring (maybe starring isn't the right
word...um, she was "cast in a speaking role" in the film...there, that's
better) in Scary Movie 2, which probably had some part in getting her a "starring
role" in the new David Kelley series called "Girls Club." (Note: Let the
record reflect that in the midst of writing this article, I just popped over to E! online,
only to find that the show had been cancelled after only 2 episodes...I think that is
some kind of record. However, I will blame this axing on Gretchen Mol, who did her best to
suck the life out of one of the finest flicks in the past 10 years, "Rounders,"
as well. She sucks ) Regardless, Kathleen still looks pretty hot, in an unconventional
kind of way. Grade: a solid A-/B+
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Joe E. Tata (Nat Bussicio)
Previous Career Highlight: I think he was on "General Hospital"...does it really matter? It's Nat.
I am not sure what Mr. Tata has been doing in terms of work since the show went off the
air, but I can tell you what he has been doing in terms of leisure: hanging out daily at Red Rock on the Sunset Strip. But honestly, what is left to do after you have been typecast as the
proprietor of the finest burger joint in all of Beverly Hills? I'm not sure, but it
probably has something to do with whores and 8-balls... Grade: A (come on, this is Nat for Christ sakes!)
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Early Grads:
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James Eckhouse (Jim Walsh)
Previous Career Highlight: Some guy at the bar listening to Tom Cruise's marketing ideas
in the film "Cocktail"
If you'll notice, Jimbo left the show shortly after his crowd- pleasing (and by "crowd
pleasing" I mean-Cindy Walsh...party of 1) striptease to the Rolling Stones. Going out
on top means never having to work again. Grade: A-
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Carol Potter (Cindy "The Sex Machine" Walsh)
Previous Career Highlight: Being confused with ESPN anchor Linda Cohn
I think she was cast on the show "Sunset Beach" about a year after she left the
show. But as you know, Sunset Beach had Randy Spelling in it, and with some quick math: 2
shows + 2 Spelling kids = Retirement. Grade: B
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Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman)
Previous Career Highlight: Turning 40 before being cast in a role as a high school student
How this chick, excuse me, "dame," got her own talk show when she left just
plain befuddles me. What doesn't befuddle me is that it got cancelled after about 2 weeks,
and she came begging for guest spots on the show again. What befuddles me again is how her
talk show lasted longer than "Girls Club"...at least that show had good
looking ladies. I don't get show business. Grade: F
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Shannen Doherty (Brenda Walsh)
Previous Career Highlight: Hanging out with Chad Allen, Diedre Hall and Quaker Oats
pitchman Wilfred Brimley on the show "Our House"
Apparently her abrasive personality on the set of "Charmed" upset some people
leading to her getting fired again. Rumor has it she was such a bitch, she even got Alyssa
Milano all worked up, which is odd because that is usually something the PBR Baggers do to
her. OK, and I will stop dreaming.......NOW. Moving on... Grade: D+
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Kari Wuhrer (Ariel Hunter)
Previous Career Highlight: Tolerating Ken Ober and Colin Quinn on MTV's "Remote
Control" and getting naked in a bunch of Skinemax flicks
Too many projects to mention since she left the show, although a few highlights were
starring in the Academy Award winning films "Anaconda," "Kissing a
Fool" and "Eight-Legged Freaks" with David Arquette. I am sure she probably
also went back to her strong suit of looking hot and getting naked in some Skinemax
features as well. To top it off, she put out an album. Grade: A+
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Well there you have it. Overall, the post-90210 era
hasn't been too bad for these kids, with a few
exceptions of course. But then again, what would a
review of 90210 be without Zuckerman bringing down the
curve? If you have a particular show you'd like me to
look in to, or would just like to tell me how Moochie
Norris was a smart pick in the 8th round of my fantasy
hoops draft, email me at sidearms@paperbagreview.com.
Until next time,
Sidearms
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