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CD Releases - April 8, 2003(Please note that I have adapted to a 10-point rating scale as opposed to the previous fan favorite 5-star system...for clarity's sake) Lisa Marie Presley: To Whom It May Concern Since she is the daughter of the King of Rock n' Roll, this album might be worth a listen because usually the acorn doesn't fall too far from the tree...unless the acorn is Natalie Cole and the tree is Nat King Cole. 6/10 Motley Crue: Re-releases It's about damn time that the youth of America gets exposed to the Crue, however it might be an idea to rethink the release and contain only the albums Shout at the Devil through Dr. Feelgood...and maybe Vince Neil's solo record. I mean, who doesn't love the Vince Neil classic "Sister of Pain"? Besides me of course... 7/10 The White Stripes: Elephant I am originally from Detroit so by default I am supposed to think this album will be great and revolutionary to music. But you are also forgetting that I don't work for K-Rock, Rolling Stone or MTV, which means I am allowed to have an independent thought every now and then. Now, I am not saying this is a bad album per se, but I am not going to lick their balls either. 6/10 Natalie Cole: Anthology Let's take a look at what makes a "good" anthology: Using a cheap publicity ploy to remake one of your dead dad's songs by calling it a "duet," having a serious drug problem and performing a little jam called "Pink Cadillac." If someone can help me find a coke dealer and a karaoke machine, I will be releasing my anthology later this summer 1/10 Yo La Tengo: Summer Sun Donde esta el sacapuntas? Alrededor del sacerdote, yo dijo. Por que esta en la calle? Porque mi cinturon es mas pequeno y mi espalda es amarillo. Quiere cacahuetes? Tocadiscos! 7/10 30 Odd Foot of Grunts: Other Ways of Speaking This reminds me, whatever happened to Keanu Reeves' band Dogstar? 2/10 Blue Oyster Cult: Essential Blue Oyster Cult I am assuming this is either a CD single of "Dont Fear the Reaper," or its an album containing 12 different re-mixes of it 3/10 Liam Lynch: Fake Songs The creator of the greatest show to ever air on MTV (Sifl and Olly) brings us a collection of entertaining little ditties, including "The United States of Whatever." The only downside is that it doesn't include the smash hit "Prostitute Laundry," a song that chronicles the trials and tribulations of pimping clean ho's. 8/10 Mary Kate and Ashley: Greatest Hits Vol. 2 and 3 Can I see a show of hands of people who can name one song on Volume One? And by "people," I am referring to someone besides Hartley. 4/10 Placebo: Sleeping with Ghosts On the plus side, their bass player looks like a 7'8" clone of Dolph Lundgren. On the other hand, singer Brian Molko sounds like Rush's Geddy Lee and looks like a chick with a goatee. Consensus: I hate Geddy Lee's voice, and I don't particularly enjoy chicks with goatees. 2/10 Robbie Williams: Escapology Admittedly this may not be Robbie Williams' best offering to date, but the fact that he is still alive after partying with Oasis during their "8-balls for breakfast" heyday is pretty impressive. There is no way the Backstreet Boys would have survived something like that...on a completely unrelated note, can someone get Nick Carter Oasis' number? They should hang out... 5/10 Linkin Park: Hybrid Theory 2 Yes, I realize that that's not the album name, but it might as well be. I just hope they can get away from those pesky extra-terrestrial CGI insects that harass them in all their videos. 6/10 Sidearms |
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