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"Cut"Starring:
Raffy, a talented, young film student, is joined by her classmates to finish “Hot Blooded”, a horror movie that stopped production 12 years earlier when the director and actor playing the villain were killed. Although they are aware that earlier attempts to complete the film had disastrous consequences (read: the murders of those involved), the students return to the set with the movie's original heroine in tow. Unsurprisingly, when the new production begins, so do the murders. Review: To tell you the truth, I was a bit surprised by this movie. I walked out of Blockbuster positive that it was going to be a complete piece of shit, but the first 45 minutes actually weren’t that bad. It was a total rip-off in terms of content -- horny teenagers being murdered by a masked killer known as Scarman (does that name suck or what?!) -- but if you like horror movies then you won’t be disappointed (except by the lack of gratuitous sex and nudity). As a “slasher flick” things were going along pretty well and then, out of the blue, there was a supernatural twist: the killer is actually a manifestation of the “artists” combined efforts to create this film. What in the fuck is that? Jesus Christ, that was some retarded shit! After that revelation, I couldn’t pay attention any longer and Pabst Blue Ribbon #4 just got warm in my hand. Here are my suggestions for this crew’s next attempt at a horror film: get a better script, get a better cast, and for God Sakes, there has to be nudity. It's obviously too late for this film, but there are two things that should’ve been explored in detail by the writers: the sexual tension between Raffy and Hester and the so-called filmmaking talent of Raffy. Let me expound. A comment was made early in the film regarding Hester's sexual preference and the fact that she was smitten with Raffy. Low and behold, 15 minutes later, the two women shared a tender kiss. That was it, nothing else was even hinted at during the remainder of the film. What a fucking waste! While I find that girl on girl action gets pretty monotonous rather quickly, it’s still a welcome addition to any film. The movie was only 80 minutes long! This storyline could’ve easily been expanded... swing and a miss. It was also suggested that Raffy was a genius filmmaker, too talented to waste time on a horror film. I believe the comparison was to Jane Campion, the Oscar nominated director that hasn’t made anything worth watching. Well, Raffy can’t get anyone’s attention on the set, gets no respect, and is totally lacking in self-confidence - it’s obvious to me that she wouldn’t really make it in the business. I've never had any problem getting respect on the set of my films. Don’t get me wrong, I keep things pretty casual and loose (and by that I don’t just mean the sex and the ladies), but there always comes the time when you have to get down to business. Let me give you an example of a common situation: dealings with the lead actress in the film are a bit irritating. She's yelling out orders and making things difficult for everyone involved, especially the director. This is how it was dramatized in this movie: Bitchy Star: “This script sucks!” Raffy: “I’m sorry, whatever you say. Can I get you anything?” Bitchy Star: “Café Latte, now.” Raffy: “Do you have any script change suggestions?” Bitchy Star: “Now that you mention it I do…” Fuck that noise. Now this is how it happened on the set of my film, “Tonsil Ticklers 7": Bitchy Star: “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah… This script sucks. I’m not doing this… and I’m hungry!” Brandon: “Look, this is bullshit. You better straighten the fuck up or you're fired.” Bitchy Star: “I’m fired? You don’t have a movie without me!” Brandon: “Get your ass to my bedroom, we’re gonna resolve this in private.” (In my bedroom) Bitchy Star: “What is there to talk about? I’m the star.” Brandon: “You still hungry? Well feast on this.” So I state my case and we run through the scene for a good 45 minutes (good for her that is). Then I fire her anyway… easy blondes are a dime a dozen. Fucking dummy. The next time you want some scares and go to the video store in search of a horror film rent "Cut"... if every other movie in the place is checked out. Skippity-Doo! Highlights:
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Brandon Iron
The Fellas
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