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"eXistenZ"Starring:
In the near future, Allegra Geller is the world's most talented game programmer. Her new virtual reality game, eXistenZ, taps into the minds of its players to create the most dynamic and realistic game playing experience imagined. There's one problem though: those that see this game as a dissolution of the "real world" want her dead and her game destroyed. Review: Let's start with the movie and then I will give my point of view on virtual reality. As you can see it's a pretty decent cast, and I remember this being at the theatre for a single week. This was another movie that The Continental and I were going to see just as it was pulled from the lineup. Is this another travesty? Hell no, this movie ain't that good folks, and it saved me some money - about 6 bucks to be exact. Nice! It was directed by David Cronenberg (Dead Ringers, Night Breed, The Fly) who used to put out some good flicks, but has resorted to this kind of shit. Have you seen his previous movie “Crash”? If you did - I'm sorry. If you didn't - well fucking don't! If I could find him, I'd kick his Canadian ass - this guy managed to get me to rent a "message movie" under the guise of it being a cool sci-fi thriller. That's just fucking lame. Bastard! The story isn't actually that bad, but as you probably guessed it is somewhat confusing. Is there a way to write a movie about virtual reality other than mixing everything together and not letting the viewer know if it is real or not. Is that considered good storytelling? The acting is above average, but no Oscar- caliber performances and the special effects are decent (I think he had some shit left over from The Fly). I would say definitely worth the rental if you don't have cable, but look at my archives for selections that are much more entertaining and a better waste of time. I was going to get intellectual on you and provide a comparison of vitual reality and reality, how the concepts are used within the context of film-making to create an abstract vision of human perception and emotion, and then discuss why this concept has been employed with less than successful results. Fuck that! I will save my artist's vision for my first documentary film – “Preston Seider Pillow-Bites with the Best of Them” aka How I Lost 20 Minutes of My Life by Listening to Preston Pillow-bite this afternoon. What gives? Is he not my friend? I was trying to drink a damn beer. Virtual reality as a concept is actually pretty cool, but a realized, vibrant virtual reality coming into fruition anytime soon is absolute bullshit. Has anyone tried a virtual reality game or experience besides myself (and I'm not talking one of those Virtual Blowjob DVDs)? My experience came at my shrink's office - I had this pesky little fear of heights, so she said she wanted to try a virtual reality roller coaster to help me get over that fear. Little did I know that that meant her going up and down for the entire hour session! She had me put on these goggles that are heavy enough to snap a pencil neck and play graphics that look like someone drawing lines on graph paper with a green pen. As the ride began I remember thinking to myself how lame this actually was, but suddenly I felt a little something going on below the belt. Was virtual reality really taking over my consciousness? She reassured me that it was part of the virtual reality experience and to just relax. Well, to make a long story (and I do mean long) short, the roller coaster stopped and when I took the goggles off she was smoking a cigarette and told me that this session was free! NICE! Needless to say, neither one of us has a fear of heights anymore. In closing, virtual reality is a long way off. Of course the newest gaming systems are moving in the proper direction, but even the most high tech video games still do not look "real" regardless of how excited a game nerd gets about it. "Look how fluidly the characters move", give me a fucking break. It's not real dipshits! For the time being, everyone just needs to stick with drugs, that is what is going to help create that alternate reality and put us is places we actiually believe are real when we are still sitting on the couch. Highlights:
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Brandon Iron
The Fellas
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