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"Last Night"Starring:
It's the turn of the century and the world is going to end in 6 hours. A bunch of characters run around a Canadian town trying to fulfill their last wishes and find meaning in their otherwise unspectacular lives. Review: Like most movies this one started off with a bit of promise. I mean, don't all movies (at least to those that are interested in that particular genre)? Movie box descriptions give you just enough to make it sound interesting, trailers show all the best scenes, and websites just promote with games, glitz, stills, etc... Well, this movie had no trailer or website, so all I had to go on was the box - after I read it I said, "This sounds pretty fucking cool." Ouch, wrong again, but it's not the first time. I need Preston to start pillow-biting again so I can enjoy something really entertaining. Seriously though, the story was good, the acting was decent, and the characters were entertaining. Confused? Does it sounds like I actually may have liked this movie? Hold on just one second now people, here comes the revelation - for all its positive attributes, this movie had one major impediment. One roadblock to the Brandon Iron PBRs of approval: David Cronenberg. Read the following sentence with a dash of sarcasm: I love David Cronenberg (see eXistenZ movie review) and his movies - he's a goddamn genius! This is a whole David Cronenberg goof-fest. All the actors in this film have acted with or are in a Cronenberg film, not including this one. That's fucked. I guess this is his movie troop. Fucking great! Just fucking great! Back from my mini-rant with a question: How does the world end in Last Night? I don't fucking know. I assume some cosmic shit was going down; in the movie it is represented by a bright light, but specifics were never mentioned. When you're working within the Brandon Iron movie budget (which I assume they were) you do what you can, and ladies, just in case you were wondering, this ain't no prop. Uh huh, uh, yeah. What would you do with your final 6 hours? More importantly, what would Brandon Iron do with his final 6 hours? Fortunately, I have a to-do list just in case the situation ever arises: -- Spend time partying with some close friends -- Get in touch with the parents -- Commit random acts of violence directed at newspaper machines (Gamut inside joke – wish you were there yet?) -- Have sex with hot chicks, multiple times - which would be like any normal day -- Drink PBRs with The Continental – again, like any normal day -- Commit a murder - I know it's shocking. Obviously I'm a lover and not a fighter, but why not? Reasons that justify this item on the list: ## A shitload of people definitely deserve it ## I wouldn't have long to feel guilty ## I've simply never done it before ## Christ forgives all sins so I'm like "Please Jesus forgive all my sins", he says "Sure thing Dawg" and the next thing I know I'm in heaven nailing angels. Nice! ## Find my ex-girlfriend and tell her that I hope that she is happy and that I love her ... that's a fucking joke people – if the end of the earth is a meteor, I hope it lands directly on her head. Not a tremendous list, and not an overactive list. Maybe even a little disappointing to some? Should my list of chores be more exuberant? More outgoing? More extreme? Jesus, do you expect me to change the world? Maybe some of you want to, but I think it's a little late at that point. As for Brandon Iron, it's been a solid 29 years and I will use the last moments to quietly reflect on what I have meant to you all. Thanks for the memories. Highlights:
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