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"Pootie Tang"Starring:
Pootie Tang is a movie icon, music star, and hero to millions who uses the power of right, and his trusty belt, to make the world a better place. Hijinks and hilarity ensue as Pootie goes from hero to zero and is forced to take on the corrupt powers of corporate America after a "ho" comes between him and the belt. Review: This movie is an instant classic. Absolute perfection! I first caught parts of it while flipping through cable channels when it was playing on Black Starz. I was always like "What the fuck is this," but I saw it had potential. Don't ask me how I know these things... you can assume that years of movie-making experience, discriminating taste, and PBR consumption all played a role in developing my keen eye for fine film. Anyway, it has a great cast (most of which you will recognize), an engrossing story, lots of laughs, and an 83-minute run time... nice! While you may be confused initially by Pootie Tang's personal language ("cole me down on tha pany sty", "sa da tay", "sine yo pity on tha runnie kine"), you'll like it because it's fucking hilarious... it makes no damn sense, but we all know exactly what he means. Although I won't take action against the writer's of this film, it is very possible that Pootie Tang's dialogue was stolen from drunken conversations The Continental, Preston, and myself have had on numerous occasions. It's very apparent early on that this movie is trying to send a positive message. While you all know that I am not a fan of "message movies", I will make an exception for this one because it's funny and more importantly, there is no involvement by David Cronenberg (I hate David Cronenberg! see eXistenZ review). It promotes always doing what's right, good triumphing over evil, eating your vegetables, going to school, and not messing with hos! I like to ignore all that though, to me this movie is all about getting the ladies, whipping ass, and taking names! I now have a new hero, Pootie Tang. I know he's just a fictional character, but he represents all that I stand for AND gets more ladies! Un-fucking believable! Obviously, we all currently have or have had a hero at some point in our lives. All kids growing up admire their parents (although not necessarily the kids today, as they blame their parents for every problem and/or stumbling block that is in their path), sports figures, movie stars, rock stars, public servants, Brandon Iron... that's right, I said Brandon Iron. There has to be a person in this world that needs someone to look up to, to admire, and to strive to be like. Why shouldn't I be the role model? Why shouldn't I be the hero? I have a winning personality, great sense of humor, get the ladies, have attained minor Internet success, and show respect to those that deserve it. Please feel free to email me the reasons why I am your hero, I look forward to all the responses. Let me say Thank You in advance for the email I will be receiving from Hartley-Fortesque Mousewrangler. You're probably wondering who my old hero was. The need to know must be excruciating at this point! No, it wasn't Preston Seider. It was Muthafuckin Brandon Iron for Christ Sakes! I was my own hero! You can't honestly be surprised by that... can you? Skippity-Doo! Highlights:
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Brandon Iron
The Fellas
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