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"Swirl"Starring:
Beethoven and Sarah are life-long friends and have partnered to create their own advertising agency. When Sarah begins to have feelings for Beethoven, and makes them known, they cross the line between friends and lovers... the only problem is that she's white and he's black. Hi-jinks, hilarity, and heart-wrenching emotion ensue as friends' opinions and Beethoven's insecurities begin to take a toll on their new-found relationship. Ain't interracial love a bitch?! Best Line:
Review: This film starts out great, dealing with interracial relationships in a light-hearted, laugh out loud manner. Thirty minutes in and 2 PBRs were already downed, crushed, and slung against the den wall… easily on pace to be a 7 out of 7 PBR masterpiece. Suddenly, the film starts to falter as it turns from comedy to drama in order to advance the plot. It’s very difficult to mix the two genres and the movie fails during its attempt and that’s why I don’t even screw around with a storyline in my movies. I skip all that shit; I start with a groovy baseline and then straight to the fucking! Anyway, I’m not going to say ignore this movie altogether, I mean you can’t go wrong with Carl Anthony Payne II, but be prepared for the laughs to stop very abruptly, only to make a minor resurgence towards the end. Interracial relationships are a cultural issue that I’m not totally unfamiliar with. You’re probably wondering how I know about such things; well, get prepared. I have this friend that we call The Dawg; he’s a very straight-laced white guy that has jungle fever, constantly dating black women and ignoring the advances of all attractive white females. Anyway, this woman he was dating, let’s call her Hood Rat #1, had a friend that was new in town. She was looking for a good time, so obviously I was his choice to provide this woman, who we’ll call Hood Rat #2, with entertainment. Date night arrives and The Dawg pulls up in his pimped out whip - 23” blades, a neon undercarriage, a booming system, a Playstation 2 and TVs in the headrests, and an immaculate tint job. Both women are seated anxiously inside and ready for a taste of the RIC nightlife (and something else if you know what I’m talking about)… “Good evening Hood Rats,” I say climbing into the backseat of the Escalade. We cruise downtown, making small talk. Hood Rat #2 tells me all about why she moved to Richmond, why her baby-daddy still lives in Philly, and why her left front tooth is gold plated with a 1-carat diamond in the center (bling, bling). She’s laughing, thoroughly enjoying the Brandon Iron wit that’s so charming, but The Dawg and Hood Rat #1 have already gotten into their first fight of the evening. We hit the club. We’re all drinking and I’m pulling out the moves to get a few laughs… a little Cabbage Patch here, a little Running Man there, the women love it! The Dawg and Hood Rat #2 decide to take a break, so I stay out there with the #1 Rat. The next thing I know, the bitch is pushing up on me, touching spots that The Dawg wouldn’t approve of. I honestly can’t blame her, but I feel bad for my buddy, so when Montel Jordan’s “Get It on Tonite” comes on, I excuse myself and decide it’s time to give Hood Rat #2 what she’s obviously been waiting for all night. Brandon: “How you doing baby?” Hood Rat #2: “I’m alright, I guess.” Brandon: “Why don’t we bounce to a secluded spot?” Hood Rat #2: “How’s the ladies bathroom suit you?” Brandon: “Works for me you little freak.” And so, we non-chalantly roll in to the ladies room and lock the stall door where things continue: Hood Rat #2: “Yo, I normally only hang out with black men.” Brandon: “Then I guess it’s a good thing that I’m black from the waist down.” Hood Rat #2: “Wha...” Brandon: “You want the dickmeat? Well here comes the dickmeat!” To make a long story short, and I do mean LONG, we’re back in the Escalade and on our way to an after-hours club. The Dawg mentions the fact that he saw Hood Rat #1 pushing up on me, there’s some yelling, and we kick those bitches to the curb, literally. Four AM and they’re on a corner, alone in the worst part of Richmond as we speed off. Hood Rat #2 yells, “Yo, I’ll call you!” My response, “Don’t.” In conclusion, my night, like this movie, started off strong, faltered at times, but ended well enough. All in all, this is a good, well-acted movie and worth the rental fee, especially if you’re thinking about crossing racial and friendship boundaries with a life-long friend that you have now partnered with to form an advertising agency. Nice! Skippity-Doo! Highlights:
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