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"The Pest"
Starring:
- John Leguizamo (Carlito's Way, Spawn) as Pestario "Pest" Vargas
- Jeffrey Jones (Who's Harry Crumb, Ferris Bueller's Day Off) as Gustav
- Edoardo Ballerini (Romeo Must Die) as Himmel
- Aries Spears (MAD TV) as Chubby
- Tom McCleister (Twins, Fletch Lives) as Leo
Best Line:
- Pest to Gustav's right hand man, Leo: "So you like fat chicks. What do the rest of us care? We don't have to touch them.
It's like riding a moped; it's fun until your friends catch you doing it."
Rating:
- 7 out of 7 PBRs (not too bad considering I watched this at 7am Sunday morning)
Plot:
Hijinks and hilarity ensue as a Latino scam artist, Pestario "Pest" Vargas, agrees to be the human target of a Neo-Nazi manhunter. If he can last for 24 hours he will receive $50,000, the exact amount he needs to pay off his debt to the Miami chapter of the Scottish mob.
Review:
This movie is fucking hilarious, and it just gets better as you drink more beer. Definitely a "beer drinking" movie in the same
vein as say, hmm, Midnight Madness!!! I'm sure you all have read my review of that fine piece of cinema, and see the comparison
as a true compliment to the hard work and craftsmanship that went into this movie. The first few minutes are a bit difficult to
watch though. The shower scene was a bit embarrassing for me, as the humor was so fucking stupid. No problem, it was just me and
my PBRs; 2 down by the time that scene ended, and things just get better from there.
What makes this movie great? Four things quickly come to mind:
- Non-stop, intense overacting. I mean, John Leguizamo doesn't slow down for a minute; it's mind boggling. If my senses had not been numbed by the PBR I would probably want to slap the fucker. Instead I just laughed.
- Cartoon sound effects. How many live action movies boast the addition of cartoon sound effects? Not too many, besides those live action combined with animation pieces of shit (Cool World and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? come to mind). Chalk up another one in the great movie column.
- Jeffrey Jones. This is a no-brainer. The fucking guy has been in some classics: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Who's Harry Crumb?, Sleepy Hollow, BeetleJuice, How High, etc. The man is a fucking legend in the "I have never been a star, but show up in everyone else's movies" category. His presence alone makes this a better movie than it would have been. The only other person that would have been better in the role would have to be Gary Busey. NICE!!! Why? I don't know. That's just what I think.
- It's only 80 minutes long!! Seven PBRs in me, 4 hours of sleep, and no breakfast on a Sunday morning. It's not even 8:30am. Holy Shit, I'm fucking loaded!!!!
Here's an idea: rent and watch both The Pest and Midnight Madness in the same night. Have all of your friends over and be sure to supply everyone with an abundance of PBR, Carlo Rossi White Zinfindel, any/or all flavors of Boone's Farm wine, Cherry Skoal
and/or Timberwolf tobacco, and whatever eats you feel are appropriate. After the movies, take everyone out to the VIP Lounge (if you are lucky enough to live in Richmond, VA) or your town's equivalent (watch an episode of COPs to see what type of people
hang out at this place) and have a blast. You and all your friends should be all fired up from the movies and effects of combining chemicals, that (1) your own hijinks and hilarity will ensue, or (2) a jailhouse bunk will be your bed for the night. Either
way, it will be a night you won't forget. Enjoy!!
Highlights:
- Stereo system showdown
- Pest gets a physical
- Pest and Himmell enjoy a bout of sea sickness
- Secret island manhunt
- John Leguizamo's intense overacting
Unanswered Questions:
- No Pest 2 as of yet. What the fuck is up with that? Come to think of it, no Midnight Madness 2. Goddammit people!!
- Did Himmell ever pursue his dreams of becoming a hairdresser, playwright, and listening to Ethel Merman all day?
- Where did they get all the clothes to change into while being hunted?
- Is a $50,000 prize enough incentive to be hunted for 24 hours?
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The Fellas