|
"Three O'Clock High"Starring:
Jerry Mitchell is an above-average high school student: good grades, perfect attendance, accountant of the student store, and contributor to the school newspaper. Buddy Revell is an above-average teenage psycho hell-bent on Jerry's destruction. At 3 O'clock they're going to fight, and there is nothing that Jerry can do about it. Review: This movie is fantastic! An 80's teen romp classic, in my opinion. It deserved much better than the week-long run it had at theatres when it came out. I remember The Continental and I making plans to go see it, but low and behold the fucking thing was pulled in order to make way for (insert a 1987 critically acclaimed movie here). What a load of horseshit! Granted, this movie could have played as a made-for-cable TV movie, but it would definitely have lost the magic. A bunch of no-name actors did a great job in this flick. Add to that a decent script and some cool cinematography, and you have a film that is definitely worthwhile. Another $1 rental you don't want to miss. Enough about what made the movie good. Time to talk about how I related to this movie. Bad fucking days - Jerry Mitchell is having a bad day, the kind where nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing goes right. We've all had them. I had one just yesterday as a matter of fact. Broke a few things at work (yes, I have a job other than contributing to the Paper Bag Review - I make movies, remember?), the car got a flat, and the store had no PBR (this is Richmond for Christ Sakes, so I should't be suprised). I'm Brandon Iron, so obviously my bad days are few and far between due to my affiliation with the Paper Bag Review, good friends, and most importantly, an optimistic outlook on life. Dealing with bullies - this movie takes me back to my days in high school. I was by no means the most popular guy around. Even considered a nerd by many. Surprised? Don't be. It wasn't until three years into college that I hit my stride and started down the path of enlightenment; the path that leads to what has ultimately become the Brandon Iron you all know and love. While at the bottom of the social ladder, I did have my fair share of encounters with bullies, but one specific occurrence stands out among the rest: it involves The Continental and myself, 3 punk-ass bitches, 4 little words, and the Sam Goody music store. As we strolled the aisles perusing the music selections, we were singled out from the rest of the patrons by 3 typical, Richmond-variety rednecks, or "tomato boys", as they are sometimes referred to. Call them what you will, they are all the fucking same. As they passed, the phrase "look at these two" was made within earshot. A quick glance my way from The Continental told me that it didn't go over too well with him, and before I even had time to give him the acknowledgement "Let's do this", he had already thrown one of the rednecks over a rack of CDs (never to be seen again) and was beating one of the other "hicks" unmercifully. As I stood there amazed at his efficiency, I felt what I will call a "love tap" on the back of my head. I turned around to find the third "tomato boy" trying to hightail it out of there (typical hit and run tactic used by all variety of rednecks). The little bitch was only a few feet away from me, so I took the opportunity to give a swift kick in the ass. The extra momentum sent the fucker into a shelf of rap cassettes at the end of the isle. Sixty seconds and who knows how much damaged merchandise later, the store managers were trying to break things up and the rednecks had boot-scooted their sorry asses out of the store. Chalk one up to the Continental and Mr. Iron. So, there you have it: A brief review of a great movie, and a glimpse into the life and times of Brandon Iron. Let me leave you with some words of wisdom that will undoubtedly change your lives: - Like it or not, you are going to have bad days; deal with them using a positive outlook and a 6-pack of PBR. - It is inevitable that at some point you will encounter a bully; they are everywhere. The problem is that they don't always get what they deserve. Take it upon yourself to dole out an ass kicking or two. You'll feel better about yourself and life in general. Highlights:
|
|
Brandon Iron
The Fellas
Contact Us
Use Wisely